How Can Men Learn To Grow Up?

with Eamon Armstrong

The Question

How do you know when a boy has become a man?

Is it measured by age or some psychological threshold through which he has passed?

As men grow up, take on power and responsibility, these questions become increasingly acute, particularly in this modern era where the feminine is rising in the collective and questioning hundreds of years of masculine imbalance.

In this fascinating discussion with masculinity writer and speaker Eamon Armstrong, we dive into what’s happening with men today, how the loss of male rites of passage has contributed to a major loss of masculine maturity, and what can be done to create balance for everyone’s sake.

If you’re interested in the ways men can transform into inspiring lovers and leaders, this episode is for you.

Our Guest


Eamon Armstrong

Speaker & Writer

Eamon Armstrong is a writer and speaker from San Francisco, California. His work in masculinity draws on lived experience of gender fluidity and exploration of male self-expression in the the international festival movement.

After speaking at TEDxBlackRockCity about how festivals create communities in 2015, he turned his attention to men’s work with a deep reading of the foundational texts of the mythopoetic men’s movement and qualitative research on gender dynamics at global gatherings.

Eamon gives talks around the world and most recently a speaking tour on Healing Masculinity in Australia with documentary filmmaker Ian MacKenzie.

The goal of his public speaking is to connect his audience with each other, to model vulnerability and to inspire personal transformation towards a healed masculinity for all.

Truth. Is. Beautiful.

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The Talk

This episode is about one of my favourite topics – mature masculinity

If you’re a woman listening to this you probably know what I’m talking about when I cite the difference between immature and mature forms of masculinity. It plays out as much in the way men interact with women in a romantic context as it does in the workplace through display of power.

I’m talking about the difference between the boy that gropes a girl at party versus the man that holds a conversation without letting go of eye contact. The boy that brags about his bonus versus the man that humbly helps out others with it. The boy who lives to furnish his self-image versus the man that works in service of others.

Eamon Armstrong has one of the most inspiring journeys of masculine transformation. He has perhaps one of the best jobs in the world(!) which is to travel to all of the great music and arts festivals around the world and write about his experiences there. In his time in the festival world though he’s also come face to face with his masculinity and been on an incredible journey of personal growth to initiate himself through immature to mature masculinity.

In this chat we spoke about some of the ways men can feel emasculated and how through personal reflection and rites of passage we can integrated our feminine and masculine sides properly and become the responsible, mature men that women are sorely looking for.

Eamon’s story of men’s growth is one of the most expansive and inspiring I’ve heard so if you’ve ever had doubts about what’s possible for anyone’s personal transformation, then this episode is for you.

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The Questions

  • What were the threshold experiences in your early life that called you into masculinity work?
  • What aspects of yourself did you find you had exiled through childhood?
  • How did the process of reclaiming them evolve?
  • How did you balance your feminine and masculine properties?
  • What is your perspective on male initiation and what role has ceremony played in your development?
  • Why did you travel to Gabon (in Africa) to initiate yourself with the Bwiti tribe?
  • What happened there and how did it change you?
  • What have you learnt about sacred sexuality?
  • How have you integrated this all back into life and with your family?
  • What is your advice for men and women listening?

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